|Collaborative Divorce||Litigated Divorce|
|Voluntary Agreement||You are not forced to accept an agreement that does not meet your interests and needs, coming as close to a win-win solution while recognizing that you may not receive everything on their “wish list.” Nothing is finalized until you and your spouse agree that it is an acceptable solution.||Judge imposes mandatory judgment if you cannot agree.|
|Child-centered||Children’s needs can be addressed sensitively and personally. Minimizes potential trauma that can sometimes last for generations.|
|Constructive||Focus on finding creative solutions and problem solving. Mutual respect and openness reduces conflict and negative emotions.||Focus on winning and losing in court, replaying the past problems of the marriage as enemies in court.|
|Control||You control the agenda, negotiations, pace, process and final decisions.
|Judge is in control.
|Privacy||Finances, family issues and negotiations are kept private and confidential Rather than lengthy, expensive litigation. Problems and assets are kept private.||Entire divorce file is open to the public, including finances and any allegations made by either spouse in obtaining temporary orders or at trial). This can sometimes result in media attention.|
|Conflict||Cooperative.||You and your spouse are enemies in court.|
|Co-Parenting||Helps salvage critical long-term relationship between parents so the children’s interests are protected.||Can destroy family relationships by ending up emotionally bruised after a divorce trial in court.|
|Lasting Impact||Agreements are much more likely to hold up over time because you have invested energy and ideas into understanding each other’s needs and your children’s needs together.
Effective problem-solving means fewer long-term arguments over who pays for what, especially when children are involved.
|Post-divorce litigation frequently adds to costs.|
|Cost||You manage the costs. Typically less expensive, since team uses neutral experts that are typically less expensive than attorneys to handle specialized topics.||Costs are unpredictable and can escalate rapidly due to filing countless documents, contentious claims, series of motions and court hearings, and frequent post-judgment litigation.|
|Outcome||Mutually created, win-win settlement.||Lawyers fight to win, but someone loses.|
|Timetable||You control the timetable. Six months is typical duration.||Judge sets the timetable, with frequent delays due to crowded courtroom dockets. Trial can take months or years.|
|Outside Experts||Jointly retained specialists are neutral and serve both parties.||You and your spouse each hire separate experts, doubling the cost.|
|Communication||Direct and efficient face-to-face meetings foster open communication to safely negotiate settlement that works for everyone and focuses on most important goals.||Back and forth phone calls and emails between litigating attorneys ratchet up emotions and make settlement more difficult.|
|Court||Since they have pledged to settle the case out of court, attorneys don’t waste time and money on making threats to intimidate or gain advantage. Instead, the team gathers information and solves problems.||Contradicting, or even belittling, each other in trial.|
|Customized||Customized property, financial support and child-related solutions fit your and your children’s personalized goals.
Create solutions often not possible in litigation.
|One size fits all according to the inflexible provisions of the law.
Arbitrary and uncertain outcomes of court litigation.
|Transparent||All parties agree to share all necessary information and documents voluntarily and in a timely fashion. All assets are disclosed, needs are communicated, and solutions are explored.||May involve expensive legal procedures to obtain information if your spouse is hiding documents or creating unnecessary delays.|