| Collaborative Divorce | Litigated Divorce | |
|---|---|---|
| Voluntary Agreement | You are not forced to accept an agreement. Nothing is finalized until you and your spouse agree that it is an acceptable solution. | Judge imposes mandatory judgment if you cannot agree. |
| Child-centered | Children’s needs can be addressed sensitively and personally. Minimizes potential trauma that can sometimes last for generations. | |
| Constructive | Focus on finding creative solutions and problem solving. Mutual respect and openness reduces conflict and negative emotions. | Focus on winning and losing in court, replaying the past problems of the marriage as enemies in court. |
| Control | You control the agenda, negotiations, pace, process and final decisions.
Client-centered. | Judge is in control.
Court-directed. |
| Privacy | Finances, family issues and negotiations are kept private and confidential. Problems and assets are kept private. | Divorce file, including finances and allegations made by either spouse, are open to the public. This can sometimes result in media attention. |
| Conflict | Cooperative. | You and your spouse are enemies in court. |
| Co-Parenting | Helps salvage critical long-term relationship between parents so the children’s interests are protected. | Can destroy family relationships by ending up emotionally bruised after a divorce trial in court. |
| Lasting Impact | Agreements are much more likely to hold up over time because you have invested energy and ideas into understanding each other’s and your children’s needs together.
Effective problem-solving means fewer long-term arguments over who pays for what, especially when children are involved. | Post-divorce litigation frequently adds to costs. |
| Cost | You manage the costs. Team uses neutral experts that are typically less expensive than attorneys to handle specialized topics. | Costs are unpredictable and can escalate rapidly due to filing documents and motions, contentious claims, court hearings, and post-judgment litigation. |
| Outcome | Mutually created, win-win settlement. | Lawyers fight to win, but someone loses. |
| Timetable | You control the timetable. Six months is typical duration. | Judge sets the timetable, with frequent delays due to crowded courtroom dockets. Trial can take months or years. |
| Outside Experts | Jointly retained specialists are neutral and serve both parties. | You and your spouse each hire separate experts, doubling the cost. |
| Communication | Face-to-face meetings foster open communication to safely negotiate settlement that focuses on most important goals. | Back and forth phone calls and emails between litigating attorneys ratchet up emotions and make settlement more difficult. |
| Court | Since they have pledged to settle the case out of court, team members gather information and solve problems. | Attorneys often waste time and money making threats to intimidate or gain advantage, contradicting or even belittling, each other in trial. |
| Customized | Customized property, financial support and child-related solutions fit your and your children’s personalized goals.
Create solutions often not possible in litigation, such as addressing college education costs. | One size fits all according to the inflexible provisions of the law.
Arbitrary and uncertain outcomes of court litigation. |
| Transparent | Clients agree to share assets, debts, necessary information and documents voluntarily and in a timely fashion. Needs are communicated and solutions are explored. | May involve expensive legal procedures to obtain information if your spouse is hiding documents or creating unnecessary delays. |
